References and Abstract

Mrs. Matthew has allowed me to all of my papers in APA and let me know at the beginning of the semester that not to worry about critiquing fellow students MLA style. Just thought I would let you all know. Thanks!

Abstract

Arranged marriages in India were a huge part of South Asian culture and continue to this day as part of some cultures.  In a few of our assigned readings, arranged marriage was a subject of conversation.  It has been a source of fascination to me and I wanted to learn more.  My main question is, is there any real romantic love that comes from arranged marriages and are the divorce ratings lower than marriages that are not arranged.

 References

An iconoclast in matters of love. (2007). Maclean's, 120(10), 48.

Carol, M. (n.d). In 'Miss New India,' modern life is calling. USA Today.

Chawla, D. (2007). "I Will Speak Out": Narratives of Resistance in Contemporary Indian Women's Discourses in Hindu Arranged Marriages. Women & Language, 30(1), 5–19.

Fuller, C. J., & Narasimhan, H. (2008). Companionate marriage in India: the changing marriage system in a middle-class Brahman subcaste. Journal Of The Royal Anthropological Institute, 14(4), 736–754. doi:10.1111/j.1467-9655.2008.00528.x

Goldstein, K. (2007). love, indian style. Bust, (47), 064–069.

Madathil, J., & Benshoff, J. M. (2008). Importance of Marital Characteristics and Marital Satisfaction: A Comparison of Asian Indians in Arranged Marriages and Americans in Marriages of Choice. Family Journal, 16(3), 222–230.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker.. (2008). Atlantic Monthly (10727825), 301(2), 31.

Sandhya, S. (2009). The Social Context of Marital Happiness in Urban Indian Couples: Interplay of Intimacy and Conflict. Journal Of Marital & Family Therapy, 35(1), 74–96. doi:10.1111/j.1752-0606.2008.00103.x

Thomas, D. (2011). My Uncle, My Brother. Kenyon Review, 33(1), 53–66.

Cultural Values

One experience that I have had in my life is my fast engagement to my husband. We started dating and two months later we were engaged. This made me believe in the "I knew he was the one" saying. My husband says that he knew on our first date that I was the one.  My experience with my husband has shaped the way I view other couples. When a friend asks me if I think they got engaged too fast I always say "when you know, you know."  This reminds me of Thomas Stone in Verghese's Cutting For Stone. I think that Thomas Stone knew he loved Sister Mary Joseph Praise while on the voyage to Ethiopia.  I think that both of the characters knew they were meant for each other when they met.

A positive implication for my value is that I have a very positive and upbeat way of thinking when it comes to love. A negative implication might be that I attribute my experience to everyone else. Some people should date longer than I did until they are ready and not jump into things. Another implication is that I think that if I steer someone in the other direction that I will be considered a hypocrite.

All in all, I do not think my value and my experience is harmful in any way and I appreciate every minute of my experiences.

Call the Tooth Fairy!

My mom always used to tell me the story of when my grandma punched out her sister's tooth.  The story goes like this:

My grandmother, who is the oldest child, was sleeping one day and her sister came into her room and would not leave her alone. My grandma just got right up and slapped her sister across the face and knocked out her tooth.  She did not get in trouble or anything because it was just known in the family that Phyllis, my grandmother, was ornery and shouldn't be woken up. Mind you, my grandma was 19 when this happened. We retell the story a lot because it is known that my grandma was not always the nicest woman and this is a way to emphasize this and we make jokes about it.

When my mother told the story to me when I was younger she said that it was my grandma's sister that is only a few years younger than her.  When I went to visit my grandma this past year I found out it was her youngest sister Mary's tooth. This changes the whole story, Mary was very around five years old when this happened. This change to the story makes my grandmother look even more villainous that she did before. My retelling of the story is exactly as it was told to me with the exception of the name of the correct sister. The retelling of my story compares to Sanjay's Ramayana in that I add my own commentary while telling the story.

Weblog Assignment #1

I interviewed my sister's close friend, Neelam, for this assignment. Her parents are both from India. However, her mother is Hindu and her father is Muslim. She defines her cultural identity as a true American Indian. She speaks Gujarati while at home, but speaks with a Southern English accent everywhere else. Neelam grew up in a very small town in Florida filled with dirt roads. She loves to cook Indian food and embraces her Indian culture in that aspect.

She has been affected by her culture in the ways that people think that because she is Indian she needs to be a doctor, because her father is Muslim that her whole family consists of terrorists, and because her mother is Hindu that she worships in cow pee.  She feels that these steriotypes play a huge role in how she has been affected. These are the bad things that all come from being part of a different culture.  For the most part she embraces her Indian heritage.

Hall suggests that there are two different kids of identity, being and becoming (Hall, 2003).  I think Neelam is working on her “becoming identity.”  She is still so young (college age) that she has many more things to experience before she can absolutely say one way or the other. 

I think because she has diverse cultural ties it has made her aware of her Indian roots as well as her American roots.  She seemed to me that she was very proud of her culture and this was very refreshing to see someone so young being able to embrace something different than what is around them.  I loved the fact that she was a direct product of her environment, very “American” and very “Indian” when she was home.  I think Neelam has found away to combine her two lives into one that works for her.

Engl 3340 Beginning

I am creating this blog because it is one of my assignments for my English 3340 class.

-Caitlin